Umbrella, ella, ella

You know that really annoying pop song by Rhianna. If you're struggling, re-read the title. Or run over to iTunes. I like to share the misery.

I think she was singing about these babies. It's time to replace that boring old outdoor umbrella with something that has more flourish. Flowers, flamenco ruffles and pinwheels, oh my.

Now your backyard BBQs will be stylish and grand. You'll want to have one each weekend, as long as you can get someone else to grill. And clean up. Let's not forget about that.

WW & Co.

Fruitcake cookies

Here's a favorite recipe of mine that you can make this Labor Day weekend. The recipe is fruitcake cookies and they're perfect for cookouts with the family and friends. Pun intended.

And while everyone makes fun of that terrible holiday gift, these are actually really good. And simple to make, which makes them really, really good.

Ingredients:
1 box of Pillsbury yellow cake mix with pudding
1/2 to 1 cup of oatmeal
1/2 cup of melted butter
2 eggs slightly beaten
1/4 cup of water
1 tsp of vanilla
1 cup of nuts - lots and lots of nuts. I use pecans & walnuts. Nuts go well with fruitcakes.
2 bags of dried mixed fruit - you'll find this in your grocery store at the same place you get the raisins and trail mix.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients & blend well.
Drop rounded dough onto ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake 10 - 12 minutes (they should just be getting a little brown on the tops)
Cool a least 1 minute before removing from the cookie sheet.
Then sprinkle with powdered sugar, the most important part.

Serve to friends and family and tell each one you were thinking of them while baking the cookies.

Everything is better with bacon - Part 2

I watched Charlotte's Web this morning. You remember, the movie with Dakota Fanning and Julia Roberts as the voice of the spider. It was really touching how they both tried to save the little pig Wilbur from the chopping block.

I cried for the little guy, but honestly ended up hungry after listening to everyone talk about bacon. True story.

So, I'm really thinking about this bacon of the month club. I've worked at places where the Christmas gift was a fruit of the month club. Sure, the thought is very nice and it certainly is a healthy snack. But really, do you look forward to a box of pears or package of delicious, thick sliced, artisinal hickory-smoked bacon strips? Exactly.

And its delivered to your door. Sorry Wilbur.

Bacon of the Month Club

Spazzstick

Sadly, that's actually the name of the product. Not the most appealing name, but it's a clever way to stay awake without the icky coffee breath.

Say you're sitting in a meeting in one of those windowless conference rooms. The boss is droning on and on again about not reaching the quarterly projections. You're falling asleep. Whip out your Spazzstick, apply (don't forget to blot) and stay awake. Voila. No one knows how close you came to lying face down in your own drool.

I thought I'd pass this tip on to all of my friends. But if I see any one of you applying lip balm while I'm talking, you're in so much trouble.

Spazzstick comes in Vanilla Toffee or Cool Mint flavors.

Spazzstick

Stick around

Sick of those boring yellow sticky notes? Me too. For one thing, they always come with work attached. And, on top of that, could you get some personality instead of those neon yellow squares?

When I want to thank people at the office, I buy them note pads. Fun ones that inject a little humor into a dull cubicle world. (Plus, don't even think about baking something as a thank you when everyone's on a diet!) This set of note pads even helps the person with time management and creating priorities.

Now that I think about it, I should have a set custom printed, so everyone knows my priorities. Vacation time - today, retirement - soon, winning lotto numbers - someday...

Whenever Sticky Note Set

Take a seat

Tampa has a tradition every February known as Gasparilla. It's where pirates invade the city and everyone gets drunk in the better neighborhoods of town. Oh yeah, they bus people in to get drunk on the lawns of mansions. Literally. Although, it's the affluent people who parade as the pirates...

Anyway, check out this bar stool from Paul Frank. If any of my friends were to have another of their annual Gasparilla parties (and you know who you are), this stool would be a great accessory.

Although, you better be careful when leaving the barstool. The design is sewn into the seat and might leave an impression on your backside for a few minutes. It will give new meaning to the phrase butt pirate.

Paul Frank

Democratic Ecology

I want to do my part for the environment. Really, I do. I love the idea of renewable energy sources powering our homes, but who wants to take a second mortgage to install solar power on your roof?

Philippe Starck must have been thinking about Snackworthy. He's designed a new mini wind turbine called "Democratic Ecology". The turbine is a polycarbonate rectangle, about 12 feet wide and 18 feet high. The turbine can generate 20 to 60 percent of the energy needed for a home. Best yet, it will sell for $630 when it comes out on the market this fall.

Now the real question is, how windy is it in your backyard? And, what happens when a bird flies into it? Ouch.

Democratic Ecology

Be Kind. Rewind.

A friend recently had surgery and borrowed some DVDs to watch while he recovered. While I'm sure the hip has long since healed (really, it's been two weeks - how long does it take after hip surgery?), he's still going through hours and hours of Sex and the City.

I'm sure my friend would love this handy little gadget - the DVD Rewinder. It's perfect for people who are not tech savvy. Just a couple of buttons and everything is all taken care of. No pesky instruction book or Indian help desk support.

Sadly, I think they've gone out of business - you can't find their site at http://www.dvdrewinder.com/ anymore. They might have been a little ahead of their time. But you can read all about it and wish longingly for one.

DVD Rewinder

Super Obama

Yeah, yeah, Hillary didn't win. We get it. And it doesn't look like she'll be VP either. While not completely ready to move on, we're always going to support the Democratic candidate. (I mean, really, what choice do we have?)

So in the mean time, play out your aspirations to be the next Dick Cheney playing puppeteer to the president. Get an Obama action figure. Limited edition, better hurry.

My Obama's already mandated solar power, reduced greenhouse gas emissions, repealed the defense of marriage act, cured cancer and outlawed guns, Paris Hilton and Crocs.

What will your Obama do?

Urban Outfitters

Who is going to buy this?

Now here's something everyone needs [insert sarcastic smirk and roll of the eyes here].

Rachel Ray's Garbage Bowl.

Oh, yeah, you read that right. And its only $14.99. A plastic bowl that comes in two colors, orange (is that what that is?) and marble.

Uh, OK. A bowl. Not even that pretty. Now I'm all for the girl making as much money as she can before Oprah kicks her to the curb.

But because they slapped Rachel Ray's name on it, we're supposed to buy it? Could they at least come up with a better name? In this case, I meant "garbage bowl", although I'm not a big fan of Rachel Ray either.

You decide.

Chef Central

Don't Bore Nina

Its Wednesday. You know what that means, right? Project Runway is on tonight.

The best reality show on TV. There, I said it. Take that Dancing with the Wannabe Stars.

Check out the show's web content to find out what Nina Garcia thinks is today's biggest fashion faux pas. I'll give you a hint. Someone's mother needs to return a few items.

Oh, and if you're not already watching this show . . . What the heck are you waiting for?

Auf Wiedersehen.

Project Runway

Desperate T-Shirts

How many times have you wondered this same exact question? I mean, other than right now?

Despair Inc. has been making fun of those dopey inspirational posters for years. But did you know they also have t-shirts? Like this beauty right here. Check out the rest.

Hey, if you're bored enough to read this, you've got the time. Better yet, browse through them at work.

Despair Inc.

Tip of the hat

Aren't you glad hats are back in style? I know I am. They can add instant flair to your style.

If you're looking for a new hat, there's a great hat shop in Manhattan - Arnold Hatters on 535 Eighth Avenue. Or if you're searching online, go to VillageHatShop.com. They claim to have the best selection online.

But the fun part of their web site is the hat facts page. It provides articles on hat care, a hat glossary, even the history of the hat. Yeah, history. Almost like being back in school.

Be sure to read the hat etiquette page before stepping out of the house. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Village Hat Shop